Since moving to Market Deeping and working in Peterborough I have met a huge amount of new friends, a large proportion on these may I add are through running and triathlon. Moving gyms, training with several different clubs, and having a program written by Stephan Lawrence has given training a new platform in life, it has allowed me to be surrounded by new people to channel my training. Taking more control of my own life, moving out of m parents has meant I make more of my own decisions, and therefore my state of mind has been altered.
Mindfulness is a term used in psychology as a being 'present' in your situation, thin king and feeling about that is going on in the moment rather than thinking about the . past or future, or in my case worrying about it. This therefore enables you to deal with the situation- and make the most out of it.
Strange as it may sound, I suffer with an awful case of worrying, anxiety, wobbling, about things that most people wouldn't even see as a problem, such as toilet opportunities, sleep, parking, staying healthy, getting into debt, being late, getting lost,doing the 'right thing' and being judged. I can see a problem ten times as fast as I can spot a positive. Worse still, I'm not alone! Working with children with Apergers and Autism has highlighted to be the extent of which anxiety can impact on your life, these children suffer terribly with it, and also to add to the mix find it difficult to express it, hence the sometimes erratic over-sensitive behavior. So, its made me feel like I need to deal with my own,
So, what am I doing to address this? well so far...research!! oh how I love to google.
I want to do an online mindfulness course over christmas..http://bemindful.co.uk/about-mindfulness/
I am about to start learning about Buddism..half term mission (in Tunisia)
I have read several books written by runners/triathletes, currently listening to the amazing Chrissie Wellington! She discusses how the mind needs to be trained just as much as the body, how pain is a mechanism between muscles and minds, training yourself to listen to your body, not zone out when training and most of all to keep calm, relax and trust in yourself, your training, coach and that the world is not going to end because you are ten minutes late to work.
When writing my last blog, I was sat an anxious mess before Perkins Great Eastern Half marathon. I prepped my kit the evening before, I tapered, I ate and hydrated well but low and behold I still woke up a sweaty, shaking mess the morning of the race before my alarm. This continued, the race start was a crazy buzz of smelly deep heat and anticipation. I stood in the sub 90 min start pen feeling like a jelly, needing to pee and casting my mind over just about anything that could go wrong. What if I get abducted my aliens? what if I forget how to run? What if I hyperventilate and cant breathe? What if my stomach gives up like in the Vitruvian? What if, what if, what if... then...
by mile 2 I got bored of this same old boring thinking..Abi get a grip.
WHAT IF YOU DO IT TODAY, WHAT IF YOU SMASH IT?? oh yeah...remember those track sessions you completed? that you aced week in week out? what about the fact you have prepped fantastically and are in the best shape you have ever been? what if those legs who can now squat twice as much as they did 3 months ago power through these miles? the fact is, actually its easier to be positive. Its lovely to be nice to yourself, to feel your legs fly over the pavements, to be part of a river of dedicated athletes, smile, enjoy it, relish the realization that I am lucky to train every day with fantastic people and now use this race to demonstrate my love of racing and running.
Negativity- your a gonner! I flew round, each mile faster than the 6.39 I planned for 1 hour 28. The wall didnt come. I went through the finish in 1.25 to see my wonderful parents, boyfriend, friends and bother. I felt like the luckiest girl on the planet..and that was my own doing - my own training, hard work and new positive thinking. I like it!
So Kings Forest Ultra-marathon up next...and Sophie Stanley..this is for you..we can do it, we will be fine, we will survive and finish with big smiles on our faces, because..we train like mad-women, we are very much capable of 31 miles of x-country running and we will prep down to the minor details :)
I hope to take this positive thinking on a journey with others too, especially those I train with, my new sponsors Rutland Sports and in my teaching. Rutland Sports of Bourne and Oakham have agreed to support me through kit, such a opportunity if invaulable to an athlete, especially having a partnership with a highly reputable company.
A young runner said to me on Saturday morning 'I CANT' whilst I was pacing him through to 22 min, so I spent the final 2km telling him the whole way he could do this, relax his arms, feel his legs and enjoy it, by 5km he had done it, relaxed and happy- job done.
Love the moment, its yours, it wont happen again, you never know what is round the corner- so why worry about it? Realise how lucky you are to have what you have, to achieve what you have and the option to dream of bigger things.
Best song for this- Dont you worry child - Swedish House Mafia.
Any comments/suggestion definitely welcome :)