I have learnt a new trick - or maybe just realised a coping mechanism I have developed.
It is- turning your brain off and just doing it. Just go, move, dont think.
where did I realise this?
Tough Mudder September 2013 Cardiff. I jumped into a ice-bath, I crawled through mud, i had it in my hair, my mouth my ears, everywhere, i jumped off a 12ft wall into mud, I cried, i sweat, I bled, I shouted, it hurt, i climbed over wall, I hung onto the top of one for dear life, I got electrocuted, I carried logs up a hill...wooaahhh sorry, not just me. My team.
Previously i discussed friends, and how sport strips you bare, to the bone, no pretences, fakery or armour to show who you really are your strengths, weaknesses and fears, creating friendships based on honesty and undeniable trust. Wow did Tough Mudder do that.
I did the event with four boys. Only one i really knew before, a school-friend's brother. Now he is more like my brother, and I know those guys have seen me at my worst and got me through it. That and my new found brain mechanism..'just move, just do it'
I realise now that when times get physically hard, or i am afraid, that I use this to avoid the emotional reaction to the situation. In a 10k race, it hurts, its fast, it burns, but don't think about it! Focus on that girl (or guy) ahead of you, focus on the road, the rush of oxygen into your lungs, think about the finish, the glass of wine at the end.
Tough mudder showed me that the only barrier we really have is our brains. 'The brain will give up a thousand times before the body does' so maybe that wasnt the first time that happened, completing a marathon on little training, after a stomach bug with various health issues may have been another example, but only after tough mudder did I realise that my body is one hell of a lot stronger than my mind. That maybe instead of slating our bodies, attempting to 'improve' them, we should have a go at doing this to our brains.
I suppose this is the reason for my recent interest in the brain, and the fact I'm about to enter special needs education. The brain is controlled by chemicals. These feelings, reactions, emotions, personalities, obsessions, habits, they are all chemicals in the brain. Different parts working differently, I recently read 'Sane new world-taming the mind' by Ruby Wax who after a break-down and depression she went onto study neuroscience and has then taken to sharing this in her book. Her boom also explained the different chemicals and put into friendly terms their roles in changing our behaviour/feelings etc.
So maybe you don't want those pink shoes... Just in need of a hit of dopamine. The chemical that is released when you get something you want. That tickle in you tum when you get your new handbag ladies :)
So next time you say you cant run, maybe consider it may be your brain, not your knees that are the weak ones.